This time of year arrives with a familiar script. Lights appear. Calendars fill. Traditions return, often without asking whether we are ready for them.
For many people, this season is meant to feel warm and meaningful. And yet, for many others, it feels complicated, heavy, or quietly exhausting.
That does not mean something is wrong. It means life does not pause for the holidays.
As the year comes to a close, whatever we are already carrying often feels closer to the surface. For some, that includes grief. For others, it may be loneliness, family tension, financial stress, health concerns, or emotional fatigue that has been building all year. Even positive changes can stir unexpected emotions. Gatherings can bring connection and discomfort at the same time. Traditions can offer comfort while also highlighting what has changed.
The holidays have a way of amplifying contrast. Between what is and what used to be. Between what we feel and what we think we are supposed to feel.
Many people notice emotional shifts during this season. One moment might feel grounding or even joyful, and the next may bring sadness, irritability, or numbness. This is not inconsistency or weakness. It is often the nervous system responding to increased stimulation, expectations, memories, and social demands. The season asks a lot, sometimes more than we realize.
When this happens, self judgment can creep in. Thoughts like “I should be more grateful” or “Others have it worse” can make the experience even harder. In reality, feeling off during the holidays is a common and very human response. There is no single emotional way to move through this time of year.
Supporting yourself during this season often means letting go of how things are supposed to look and paying closer attention to what you actually need. That might mean doing less rather than more. It might mean adjusting traditions instead of abandoning them. It might mean stepping outside for a few quiet minutes, setting firmer boundaries around time and energy, or allowing something to be good enough instead of perfect.
It can also mean allowing mixed emotions to exist without trying to resolve them. Joy does not cancel out sadness. Difficulty does not erase moments of warmth. Both can be true at the same time.
Many people are also carrying concern for others during this season. Supporting someone who is struggling does not require the right words or a solution. Often, it means staying present, allowing honesty, and resisting the urge to rush someone toward positivity. A simple check in, flexibility when plans change, or permission to opt out can communicate care more clearly than reassurance ever could.
What is easy to forget is that most people are holding more than what shows on the surface. The holidays can make that invisible weight feel heavier, especially when there is pressure to perform happiness or togetherness.
If this season feels harder than expected, you are not alone. You are not failing the holidays. You are responding to a season that asks a lot while life continues to unfold in real and complex ways.
As the year comes to a close, it may help to make room for softness. Toward yourself. Toward others. The goal is not to feel a certain way, but to move through this time with honesty, care, and as much gentleness as possible.
A brief reflection:
As the lights glow and the days grow shorter, you might pause and ask yourself what feels supportive right now, not what is expected. Even small moments of care count. You are allowed to meet this season exactly where you are.
Amanda Brindle, LCSW 
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