You notice your partner is quieter than usual, and before long you’re wondering if you did something wrong. Your boss sends a short email, and suddenly you’re replaying yesterday’s meeting. Your friend doesn’t text back, and you’re debating whether you should send another message or just leave it alone. Your parent seems stressed, and you … Continue reading Why You Can’t Relax Until Everyone Else Is Okay
Most families never sit down and assign roles. Nobody gathers everyone around the table and announces who will become the responsible one, who will keep the peace, who will take care of everyone else’s feelings, or who will become the family success story. And yet, somehow, those roles still develop. Over time, each person begins … Continue reading Every Family Has an Unwritten Job Description
One of the most common things I hear in therapy is some version of the same complaint: “They just don’t get it.” Sometimes it’s about a spouse. Sometimes it’s a parent, a friend, a sibling, or a coworker. The details are different, but the feeling is remarkably similar. Someone tries to explain why something hurt, … Continue reading The Real Reason Validation Matters
One of the more disorienting parts of adulthood is realizing that maturity gives you perspective you simply did not have as a child. Many people grow up believing their family dynamics were normal because, for them, those dynamics were normal. Children adapt to the emotional environments they are raised in. They learn what gets approval, … Continue reading Sometimes Adult Children Stop Trying to Be Understood by Their Parents
Amanda Brindle, LCSW 